10 Things Every Child Should Hear to Boost Their Confidence
We all hope that our children will grow up to be responsible, successful, and happy individuals. Their childhood will be the ideal time to begin encouraging them. The ideal time to provide them with the skills they need to achieve everything they set their minds to. They will be ready when the time comes to face the “adult world” with confidence and determination.
We’ve put up a list of the most effective positive reinforcement phrases you may use with your children on a daily basis.
1. “You may rely on me” or “I’m here for you”
Remind your children that you are there for them. Whether when they doubt themselves or want to achieve something but lack the guts to do so. Let them know they can rely on you and that they can count on your support and assistance if needed. Just knowing that you are there for them will motivate them to try.
It is critical for children to believe that they can rely on their parents in case of a difficulty. This kind of sentence will provide youngsters a lot of security and self-confidence. It will also cement the link and trust between parents and children.
It will be simpler for them to grow and develop these attitudes if they learn them from an early age. Especially when they get older and have to cope with more serious problems.
2. “Tell me” or “I’m paying attention”
This line is linked to the preceding one; we can’t say “I’m here” if we don’t have time to listen later when they want to tell us something. This sends the exact opposite message: “I’m not here,” or “I don’t have time for you.”
The finest opportunity to show your child that you are present is when they want to share something with you.
Stop what you’re doing. It’ll only take a few minutes for you, but it’ll show your children that you care. Listen closely and don’t make light of their narrative or minimize its significance. It’s because it’s significant to them that they wanted to share it with you. Don’t bother them. Wait till they’ve finished before offering your viewpoint or adding something.
What you can do is convey that you’re interested in what they’re saying: “Really?” Children say things like “Wow,” “Amazing.”
This is an excellent technique to begin creating solid communication skills with your children and to boost their trust in you. They will want to continue to share their experiences and worries with you as they get older.
3. “I adore you,” or “I love you,”
We look after them, pay for their education, schedule their after-school activities, buy them everything they require, and don’t sleep a wink when we are concerned about them. All of this and more is because we love them. We consider them to be the most essential aspect of our existence. For a toddler, however, obtaining this decision is more difficult. Experts advise that apart from displaying our love for our children by our actions, we should also do so verbally.
These two phrases are incredibly effective, serving as a positive reinforcement with a variety of advantages:
- It increases family communication and strengthens the link between parents and children.
- It instills confidence and peace of mind in children since they are surrounded by affection.
- It boosts their self-esteem and encourages them to embrace and appreciate themselves for who they are.
- It enables them to flourish, transmitting and bringing happiness to their surroundings.
- It improves their emotional intelligence and the way they deal with their emotions.
- Children who are adored are upbeat and hopeful.
- They are courteous and respectful of others.
So, amid hugs and kisses, whenever you have the chance, tell your children how much you love them.
4. “Are you willing to forgive me?”
We all make mistakes as imperfect human beings, including mum and dad. And what better approach to teach our children to accept and own their mistakes than to lead by example? They will learn how vital forgiveness is when they see us set aside our egos and ask for forgiveness.
We often not only do not ask for forgiveness, but we often force it on our children. In these situations, we are sending children a very mixed message. Instead of building empathy for others, they believe we are victimizing them by forcing them to do something they don’t want to do.
As a result, whenever you believe you have made a mistake with your children, such as raising your voice too high, imposing an unjust penalty, or being unfair in any way, offer them a heartfelt apology that is appropriate for their age. Explain what went wrong, how you feel about it, and what you’ve learnt from it so that your kids can comprehend and apply it as well.
5. “I trust you” or “I believe in you”
Knowing that our parents trust and believe in us makes us feel all-powerful, as if by magic.
It’s not a matter of lying to children and telling them all the time that we trust them to do anything they need to do. Our faith must be genuine and well-founded.
You can assist them gain confidence by trusting them. They will believe that they can. They will not give up easily, and they will seek out alternatives and solutions that will move them closer to their objectives.
6. “I understand what you’re going through” or “I understand how you feel”
This expression expresses empathy and a connection with our children’s feelings. Knowing that someone understands us makes us feel supported, identified, and calmer, which is true for both children and adults.
When children feel unheard, they become irritated, and this dissatisfaction can lead to inappropriate or aggressive conduct. This is their desperate attempt to express all of their internal confusion.
At the proper time, a simple and honest “I understand you” can make all the difference.
7. “Let yourself cry as much as you need to.”
Crying is a fully normal reaction that both children and adults have in certain circumstances. It isn’t selected; it simply occurs, and it isn’t permanent. We cease sobbing as soon as we begin to feel relieved. Children who are asked not to cry are being asked to repress their emotions, and as a result, they will never learn to regulate them.
Even if stated with the best of intentions to relieve our children’s suffering, phrases like “be courageous,” “guys don’t cry,” and “it’s all right” have a negative impact.
The greatest thing you can do is let them vent, listen to them, and offer your support. Emotions and feelings will undoubtedly play a role in their daily lives for the rest of their lives.
8. “I’m very proud of you.”
This is another strong statement that parents should use with their children on a regular basis, but only when the situation justifies it, to applaud the child’s efforts and self-improvement. Focus on the work they did to get there, the process they went through, the hurdles they overcome, and the fact that they didn’t give up, rather than the outcome. Those are the attitudes that should be commended regardless of the outcome.
In front of third parties, it is easy and natural to express our joy in our children: “My son is already walking,” “My daughter was voted class president,” “My son passed the course with very good grades.” Their accomplishments, no matter how modest or large, make us so delighted that we want to share them with the rest of the world. However, we must remember that the most essential thing is to share them with children so that they understand how proud we are of them.
Too much of a good thing, like virtually anything else, can backfire, and praise is no exception. Praise should always be warranted and delivered at the appropriate times, boosting your children’s self-esteem and giving them greater confidence. Too much praise for no reason, on the other hand, can make your child arrogant and encourage him or her to do well solely to receive a reward.
9. “Your viewpoint is significant to me.”
Their adult life will be based on decision-making, so it is important that they begin to develop this ability from an early age. If mom constantly tells us what we should do —without letting us think about it or have a say— the day mom is gone, we won’t know what to do. So whenever you have the opportunity, ask your children for their opinion. For example, ask them about what to do on the weekend, what to give a family member for their birthday, or what movie to see, among other similar situations.
Because their future lives will be focused on decision-making, it is critical that they start developing this capacity at a young age. We won’t know what to do if mum constantly tells us what we should do without allowing us to think about it or have a say. Solicit your children’s input whenever you have the opportunity. For instance, you may inquire about what to do on the weekend, what to get a family member for their birthday, or what movie to see, among other things.
We can invite them to discuss their point of view and explain why they believe it is the proper thing to do, in addition to listening attentively. Allowing kids to express their thoughts will benefit not only them, but also their parents, as it will provide them with a wealth of knowledge about their personality.
10. “Thank you so much.”
“Be thankful for small things,” as the saying goes, and what better way to teach your child to appreciate and be thankful for others’ acts than to lead by example? We don’t mean a nice “thank you” in the traditional sense. It’s more than just civility and good manners. In other words, “thank you very much” indicates “I understand what you’ve done, and I want you to know how much I appreciate it and how happy it has made me.” We can express our thankfulness to our children on a variety of occasions:
On a daily basis: we have an endless number of reasons to thank our children: any form of assistance they provide, such as setting the table or bringing out the garbage, even if it is their obligation, such as tidying their room.
For their patience: even if we don’t realize it, our children often go to great lengths to be patient when they are bored, such as at the store, waiting in line at the bank, or stuck in a traffic jam that won’t move forward. They’d rather be playing, but they’re waiting, and thanking them would be a kind gesture on our side.
We realize that your child is the apple of your eye, who brings joy and color into your life, who brings a smile to your face even in the darkest moments, who is your major source of pride and happiness, and that all of this deserves a hearty “thank you.”
Which of these phrases do you use with your kids the most? What can you do to boost their self-esteem?